How the hell do teenagers think?

Planet in outer spaceIf women are from Venus and men are from Mars, what planet are teenagers from?

I ask this because as I journeyed alongside my two sons through their teenage years, many times I wondered how their little brains worked.  Their logic was skewed, their behaviour was occasionally absurd, and whilst I didn’t laugh at many of their antics at the time I can chuckle now that we have come through relatively unscathed.

My friends tend to focus on their daughter’s hormonal changes through the teenage era.  But I can tell you that when you see your son stomping his feet, jumping up and down on the spot screaming blue murder with his fists pumping up and down, you know boys get hormonal too.  {OK, so I laughed hysterically at my son when he did this which didn’t help matters, but hey, I’m only human and couldn’t control myself either!}

When my boys began morphing into teenagers, the first thing I really noticed was the stench in my car when I picked them up from school.  I would look down at their feet noticing their shoes were still on as my gag reflex kicked in.  How did such an eye watering stink permeate through leather shoes to pollute the atmosphere?  I was sure their feet had turned toxic.  And their armpits – oh my goodness!  I had to open the car window and drive with my head tilted out the window, my lips flapping like those of my dog, eyes blissfully squinting as I refilled my lungs with clean air.  Yes, that’s how I drove home.  “Did you boys use deodorant this morning?”  I’d rage.  “Yes Mum”.  “Well…USE MORE!”

There was one particular episode of “teenage logic” that I will forever remember.  This was the defining moment where I hypothesised that teenager equalled alien.   Our home has evaporative cooling and I was forever telling them that if I wasn’t home and they put the cooling on, they must open some doors and windows.  I arrived home from work one very hot day and heard the cooling system whirring as I walked up my driveway.  {They better have the doors and windows open.}  I was pleasantly surprised that they did!

But something was just not right.  I could feel it in my bones.  I walked from one end of our home to the other, stopping, cocking my head to the side, waiting for my mother’s-extra-sensory perceptions to hit the jackpot.  Bingo! {It couldn’t be.}  I walked to the cooling control panel which was next to the central heating panel.  My eyes were snapping from one panel to the other and back again.  The cooling was on.  The heating was on.  I called the boys over and asked WHY the cooling system and central heating were on at the same time.

Without hesitation …. “It was hot so we put the cooling on” said son.  “Then why is the heater on?” asked I.  They looked at each other as if I was simple.  “Well?” I said. “Mum, it got too cold with the cooling on, so we put the heater on!”  Doh!  Silly me.

I stood there, perplexed, looking at the back of their little alien heads as they walked away.  I was response-less.

There are many more “episodes” from my alien teenage son’s soap opera that I will revisit soon.  Some are hilarious, others not so much.  My youngest son turned 20 a few weeks ago.  I bent and kissed the ground and thanked God that I survived the teenage years.

“Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.”   ~ Author Unknown
©2015 CEW

Reposted from my old blog site

 

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