When you lose your beloved dog

Beautiful cavalier king charles spanielA dog is not just a dog.  And if you are a dog-lover, you will know what I mean.  This is George, my little boy. My baby.

I was shocked when he jumped on my bed one morning.  He hadn’t done that for a few months and his health had declined through the week.  Oh, he’d had such a hard, hard life.  Before he was one year old he’d had his first major leg operation.  He ended up having 3 leg surgeries over the next few years, 2 of them were major reconstructions.  He developed an auto-immune disease which caused large scabs to break out on his face.  He had a severe allergy to all proteins, so was on a special diet.  And because he was on cortisone, as well as other pain killers twice a day, we knew his life would be shortened.  But we loved him, and to us, being pain free and happy meant more than anything.  It meant he wouldn’t live a long life, but it would be a good life!

So, he jumped on my bed for a morning cuddle, which really shocked me.  I stroked him lovingly.  I’d had him at the vet the night before as he hadn’t eaten for four days – since our house flooded from a burst pipe.  Like I loved to do, I leaned over him and kissed the top of his head.  I buried my nose in his fur.  How I absolutely loved the smell of the top of his head!  After five minutes he tried to jump down but couldn’t, so I gently lowered him to the floor.  He still wasn’t well but at least he ate something the night before.

I went to work after checking him and left him asleep on the couch, head nestled on his favourite cushion.

At work I noticed I’d missed four calls from my son.  I quickly rang him.  He said he’s just arrived home from fishing and George was really sick.  He’d vomited all around the house and had severe diarrhoea.  I rang the vet to say George was on his way with my son.  He was put on a drip and admitted to hospital for tests.  I rang the vet throughout the day and kept getting updates.  I prayed for him, but just couldn’t leave work early as we had international visitors.  I was in a dilemma.

Our George was a fighter and he’d come through everything life had thrown at him so far.  I knew he’d pull through this too.  The vet rang me when I got home from work to say he was sedated and comfortable, but he was a very sick boy.  They were closing so I couldn’t pop in to see him until morning.

I waited for the vet’s morning call to say I could go and visit my George.  I just needed to know he was ok.  I ran to the ringing phone and couldn’t wait to hear about my baby.  “Hi Cathy. {pause} George didn’t make it through the night.  I’m so sorry.”  I sat on the end of my bed.  Stunned.  It couldn’t be true.  I didn’t get to say goodbye.  I wasn’t prepared.  But like all mothers do, I pulled myself together so I could tell my husband and my sons.

I went to the vet to bring my boy home, where he belonged.  The vet nurse lovingly laid him in my arms in a little white body bag.  I drove him home from the vets for the last time.  With a face covered in tears I kissed the top of the bag where his head was and breathed in deeply.  I just wanted to smell his head, just one last time.  I couldn’t’ smell him.

My husband, sons and I stood together around the mandarin tree and laid our boy to rest.

I now live with the guilt that I didn’t say goodbye to my little man.

“I’m so sorry Georgie.  I didn’t realise that last cuddle you gave me that morning on my bed was you actually saying goodbye to me.  I will treasure that moment forever.  I will see you again one day.  With Max, Winky, Kizzy, Chrissy, and all my little boys and girls that I’ve loved over the years.  RIP my little brave man.”

George died on 24th January 2015.  Forever loved.

 © 2015 CEW

Originally posted on my old blog site

 

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The stunning males of the animal kingdom

beautiful blue wren on window sill“Tap, tap, tap.”   I listened intently to ascertain where the sound was coming from, only to realise it was on my bedroom window. {Was Husband Romeo trying to get my attention?}  I sneakily peaked through the curtains and saw two little birds hopping around and merrily pecking at their reflections. I quietly opened my curtains wide and sat on the carpet, watching them for ages.  And with my tinted windows, they couldn’t see me at all!

I had no idea what species they were, and after a little investigating, discovered they were “blue wrens”; and would you believe that the stunning blue one was the male! {What the?}

I looked at these gorgeous birds and thought my facts must be wrong.  The pretty one would be female, surely.  Nope.  It was definitely the male.  And I realised that there are other animals where the male is the strikingly attractive, spunky, gorgeous piece of work, and the female … well … just isn’t!  At least I’m not the only plain looking female on the planet.   {Poor bloody animals.}  Is this God’s sense of humour at work?  If so, then I don’t think He’s funny at all.

fancy peacockLook at the peacock, for example, compared to the peahen (yes, a female peacock is called a peahen).

The male is all electric stunning colour with co-ordinated feathers. And he wiggles and waves his fail feathers to catch a female’s attention.  Bleedin’ show off.  He’s a chick magnet and he knows it.

peahen with peachicksThe female is … well … not really that memorable. Mind you, this poor hen is probably exhausted from looking after her brood of “peachicks” all day, while her other half is busy preening himself into immaculate glory.

Then there’s lions.

majestic lionOhhh laa laaaaaa, check out the majestic beauty of this powerful male beast!  He has an incredible coiffed hair do.  And he knows it too.  Look at his proud “I know I’m beautiful” look.  He wakes up with hair like this.  It’s his bed hair!  I wake up in the morning with a witchy-poo-fuzz-ball that sticks up on one side, wraps around my head to be plastered to the side of my face and is accessorised with a drool clump.

lionessCompare now the lioness. Oh hooray, I do have something in common with her.  Bloody chin hairs!  I know how this poor mumma feels.

{Long drawn out sign …}

So back to my beautiful blue wrens …

They have been pecking at my window every day for a few weeks now. Husband and Sons look out for them, and we can get very close without them knowing we are only a few inches away.  They must have their nest in a tree on my front lawn.

Unfortunately … we are not the only ones who have noticed them!

cat looking at birds on window sill

© 2015 CEW