Why did Facebook accuse me of this?

Go to Jail Monopoly cardI have been accused of the worst possible act. It’s true! I couldn’t believe the email I received from Facebook recently. I was stunned! Facebook Administration have said I …

“may not promote the sale or use of adult products or services (ex: sexual enhancement products, seduction techniques, adult clubs and shows)”

What the hell are they talking about? Me!! Selling or promoting sexual enhancement products!

I put my Private Investigator hat on, and with monocle on eye delved into the dark world of espionage and spied on my own social media sites, determined to find out where the sinister and evil accusations could have stemmed from.

It led me to my post … {drum roll please} … The sausage casserole that was banned for life!

x-rated looking sausage casseroleI sat in bewilderment, staring at the allegedly grossly offensive image of my failed sausage casserole. I tilted my head to the left, and then to the right, and wondered – because I don’t have experience with sexual enhancement products – if a chipolata sausage can also be used as an adult toy, and I hadn’t realised it. Could I be that naive? Unfortunately I possibly am that naive!

I dissected the accusations charged to me by Facebook:-

“Sexual enhancement products”

Ummm, I don’t think so. How can a 3 inch long chipolata be interpreted as being a sexual enhancement product. Then I have an epiphany. That poor lady from Facebook (the one that sent me the email) must be more experienced than me! I wonder if she slow cooks hers for 10 hours like I did, and has a serve of onions on the side.  Oh well, each to their own I say.

“Seduction techniques”

I suppose I could try it on my husband. But how? I’ve already traumatised him with my chipolata casserole attempt. I never want to see that pained expression on his face ever again! In fact – I’ve been banned for life from ever dishing him up a sausage. Seriously – if I walked towards him in a satin negligee holding a chipolata sausage towards him the neighbours would hear the poor man screaming for miles, and running for his life. Seduction with a sausage – not I.

“Adult clubs and shows”

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’ve never been in an adult club but I’ve seen some in movies. The only thing I can think of is a pole dancer – but with a chipolata? But how can she hold it if her hands are on the pole?  It’s just too confusing.  I know – maybe between her teeth like a rose on a stem! And a show – what – you draw back the curtains and see a live cooking segment. I don’t think that chef will be getting a $20 bill under his apron! Bah … really Facebook!  Are you serious?

When I lifted the lid on my sausage casserole and presented that “show” to the three men in my house, they jumped back in fright with a look of pure horror on their faces, knees clasped tightly together and refused to eat it. My husband did not throw me over his shoulder with other ideas. No sir! I was left to eat the bleedin’ casserole for days. My pride dictated that.

I guess I am at the mercy of Facebook Administration. I wrote to them and tried to tell them it was a sausage – but I don’t hold out much hope of getting a favourable response back.

I have a Facebook page attached to my blog now – well, unless Facebook shuts it down of course! If you want to Follow this blog on Facebook go to Cat in the Cactus and hit the “Like” button.  See you there!

© 2015 CEW

Monopoly image courtest of Stockvault
Advertisements

How to pay the “Reblog” blessing forward

Master Yoda holding a Reblog ButtonToday my blog site “views” went up three-fold! Why? Because one of my Followers, that little voice, Reblogged my post. I am so grateful that I’d like to pay the Reblog blessing back … and then forward!

But firstly, I want to thank Jason Cushman over at A Good Blog Is Hard To Find. Jason Reblogged my 1st post on Cat in the Cactus a few months ago and helped to give my new site a little kick start. I’ve been Following him, and it is through his generous Reblogging of so many people’s posts that I’ve met some fantastic bloggers, and now I want to give back to others what he has freely given to me. I’m calling it paying it back and forward, which means not just taking what someone else has freely given then paying it back, but then doing the same for someone else, in the hope that it really blesses them.

So …

Once a week I will Reblog one of your posts (from my Followers list) with the hope that the views and Followers on your site go up too and make your day.  Hopefully you will meet some new friends along the way, as I have. I’m hoping you will be happy to then Reblog one of my posts too (your choice) and Reblog one of your other Follower’s posts. Paying it back and/or paying it forward”!

Here’s a call out to my Followers (both old and new) – If you have a favourite post that reflects the essence of your blog, you are welcome to send me a link so I can have a read, or I will just surprise you and Reblog something I love from your site anyway.

I’m starting off my Reblog tomorrow; with a post from that little voice, to say “thank you” (your Reblog made my day), followed up by one from A Good Blog Is Hard To Find next week.

I look forward to reading your blogs. It may take me a while to get through my list of Followers, but I’m going to do my darndest to Reblog a post from all of you {gulp}!

All the best with your Blogging and Reblogging! May the force be with you …

© 2015 CEW

I hate to love poetry. Am I an oxymoron?

Roses are blue Violets are red quote in flamesI’ve quite proudly said in the past that “I hate poetry”.  And meant it. I did. But since I started blogging I’m drawn to it. To the words. To the images they create. To the emotions they evoke.

And it confuses me.

I am learning. There are some brilliant writers who call themselves bloggers, but these bloggers really are brilliant writers.  They are poets.

I hate to love poetry. But I think I do. And I don’t understand why.

And it confuses me.

I wish I could write poetry. I can’t. But I’m drawn to want to try. I tried once in a previous post but I think it wasn’t really poetry. Just writing trying to sound like poetry. But it still meant something to me. Is poetry like art? Is it subjective?

These poets are throwing my mind into turmoil. It is because of you that my view of poetry has been thrown off its axis. It’s because of you I am confused!  Go and torment someone else’s mind.  Be gone from mine.

Read these poems from these poets and you may understand my dilemma …

Kunal Thakore: How can someone paint such a masterpiece with words? I want to hate this, but I can’t. It is too lovely.

and this …

Harsh Reality:  This poem is simple but complex. But … it’s beautiful. I hate that I love it.

and this …

Keith Garrett Poetry: I’m learning that poetry doesn’t have to rhyme, but it draws me in. Like an addiction. It calls to me. Like port sliding down my throat. Warming me from the inside.

And it confuses me.

A seed has been planted and the poets in the blogging community are watering it.

Go away. Leave me alone. I want to go back to the world I know.

Where I hate poetry!

©2015 CEW

Flame Image courtesy of Freepik

 

 

 

Blogging and Why I moved to “Cat in the Cactus”

Pretty cat looking at cactusDear Friends & Followers,

I’ve learnt a lot about blogging that I wish I’d known before I started. But we all have to start somewhere.  Life is a journey about learning, growing, failing, persisting and maybe even hitting the jackpot … hopefully! And it can certainly be like this for new bloggers. Well, it certainly has been for me!  When I started I went to a self-hosted site, because I didn’t know any better. That was my first mistake.

It was actually Jason Cushman at Harsh Reality (a fellow blogger who I “Follow”) who inadvertently alerted me to a deficiency on my blog site. He said to me about one of my posts … I was going to reboot this, but dont see a reblog button for WP. :)” I investigated and discovered that self-hosted sites do NOT have a “Reblog” button. I could have cried. I lost my chance to have someone Reblog one of my posts, which is a big deal for bloggers.  So I started investigating about the differences between self-hosted sites and WordPress.com.

There’s good and bad points about both, but because I’m not an I.T. expert, being self-hosted had other problems I couldn’t fix. (Eg. I had to find my own plugin to do my own back-ups, and when they didn’t work it was a nightmare. I had to buy a plug-in to look at my stats. The scheduler never worked and the host-site said it was probably one of my plugins – and it was up to me to find out which one! etc). It was a lot of time and effort – and to be honest, money! It cost me about $300AUD just to get up and running. So I started looking at WordPress.com (apparently self-hosted sites are at WordPress.org). Bleeding’ confusing I know. I needed to seriously think about a change.

When I started I also didn’t realise how important a blog name was. I was “Ask Aunty Cath”, but it didn’t really represent my personality or sense of humor. I have Followers with fantastic blog names, like HarsH ReaLiTy and Katie over at fattymccupcakes – now there’s a great name that represents her personality perfectly! I’m sure you’ve discovered some ripper blog names too. So I started researching about what blog name would really reflect my personality and my style of writing. After a lot of research I finally decided on “Cat in the Cactus”. Cat is a reflection of my name – Cathy. And the term “in the cactus” definitely reflects me and my personality. I quite often end up “in the cactus” (an Aussie term) meaning I’m “in deep s^&t“. Unfortunately my bold and outspoken personality tends to get me into strife sometimes. Cat and Cactus are also total opposites, one is soft and purrs, the other is sharp and stings. Yep, two accurate representations of my personality. So “Cat in the Cactus” it is!

I don’t want to lose any of you as Followers, because I value our connection too much. So please “Follow” me at “Cat in the Cactus” – and I will come by and follow you too.

Cathy xox

ps: I will also republish some of my favourite posts on this site over the next month or so, as well as some new ones, as I don’t want to lose any of my blogs. Happy blogging!

Hello world!

Love Love Laugh medallionsThis is my first post on “Cat in the Cactus”!  My name’s Cathy, and I was born to tell stories.  I’ve loved creative writing and story-telling from when I was a little school-girl – and it’s time to put my fingers to the keyboard and start painting vivid pictures with the written-word about life, love and laughing lots – on WordPress.com!

My two young-adult sons and husband are my inspiration. Their pranks and ridiculous antics have caused me to cry with laughter {and just cry sometimes} and they have coloured what would otherwise have been a black-and-white life.

Thanks for reading my first “Cat in the Cactus” post.  I look forward to reading your blogs too, Liking, Commenting and Following you, as well as building up relationships over the Blogosphere.

Cathy

ps:  My first attempt at blogging was on a self-hosted site, which was just too hard as I’m not an IT expert.  But that’s a story for a future post … until then!