The crazy chook with insane eyes

Quote FOR FAST ACTING RELIEF TRY SLOWING DOWNDo you know that crazy-confused feeling where you run around in circles like a chicken with it’s head cut off chasing its tail?  See how confused I am!  You know what I mean, right?  And when the episode has ended you wonder what just happened?  This is me.  Really, it is.  It has begun.

My first episode happened not long ago.  I was home alone, grateful now that my sons and husband were not witnesses to my madness.  It all started with the ringing of my cell phone, or mobile phone (as we call them in the Southern Hemisphere).

Gazing at my aging reflection in the bathroom mirror I heard the familiar tinkling of my cell phone in my bedroom.  I walked to my bedside table and reached out – but the phone was not there.  It started ringing in the bathroom.  “I must be going insane” I chuckled to myself, returning to the bathroom and walking a bit faster this time.  I checked the vanity.  No cell.  Feeling only slightly perplexed I heard the familiar ring in my bedroom once again.  For a split second I wondered what eerie force was at work in my home as I hurried back through my walk-in robes into my bedroom.  I scanned the bed this time.  No phone.  Is there a pesky poltergeist at play here?

Waiting with anticipation for the next ring I honed my mother-ears towards the next ringing to gauge the latitude and longitude of said phone.  {ring ring}  My head spun around, eyes focussed.  “It’s in my robes” I deducted and I lunged towards the jacket I’d worn yesterday squeezing the pockets.  But alas, within a few seconds, I heard it ringing behind me again.  Aha!  I’d finally worked it out.  My phone was in the study, which is opposite my bedroom.

I stomped to the study, quite fed up with myself, eyes crazily scanning the desk, around the computer, under papers, searching.   {ring ring}  This can’t be happening.  It was behind me again, back in my bedroom!  I ran back now, knowing the phone would flick to voicemail soon.  Moisture was gathering on my brow and my frustration thermometer was rising.  My head snapped to the right, eyes honing on the sound as I heard it ringing in the study again. “WHAT’S HAPPENING?” my internal voice screamed to myself.  What strange powers has my cell suddenly accumulated that it can disappear and reappear at will?

But this time I stopped.  I stood still.  I closed my eyes and bowed my head in utter concentration.  And I listened.  It was like slooooooow motion.  My breathing calmed and my heartbeat slowed.  {rrriiinnnggg rrriiinnnggg}

I heard it.  I felt the vibration.

In the back pocket of my jeans.

I just missed the call.  I sat on my bed.  Home alone and confused.  Was this the beginning of the loss of my mind?  I was almost 50 at the time.  Was I over the top of the hill descending down the other side into middle-age and menopause … and madness?  Is this menopause?  I hoped so, because if not, it just might be the beginning of insanity or dementia.
©2015 CEW

Reposted from my old blog site

 

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